is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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