i think i have two assholes
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
