get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
