Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
