you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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