The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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