Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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