She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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