I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
