Im at strip club and am horny
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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