I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
