god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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