Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
