I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
