peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
