Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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