Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
