ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
