Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
