i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
