I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
