just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
