can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My vagina just recognized that song.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
