i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
