The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
