NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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