party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
