Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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