so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
