You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
