You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
