Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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