i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
