and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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