I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
