I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
