first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
