they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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