that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
