Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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