So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
