Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
