Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
