When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
