Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
