wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
