dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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