I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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