i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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