I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
