You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
