I cannot find my penis.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
