do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
