Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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