are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
