I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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