ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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