where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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