you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
