new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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