Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
