i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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