haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
