Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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