How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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