Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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