He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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