Im at strip club and am horny
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
